Once again, I was in my ‘bubble’ It is so difficult to explain how I felt at that moment apart from completely out of sorts. I had another blood test in the middle of January and felt as if there should be some change of dosage. The symptoms, again are affected my emotions, my bowels, I felt depressed, tearful and my skin and hair were course and very dry. Another bout of Thrush and found if difficult to focus. I panicked over simple tasks, wondering how to cope. Knowing what is causing it helps and eventually, the tablets will be balanced again.

The British Thyroid Foundation kindly printed my request for contacts via my website and had a good response from members and hope that in some small way the journals have helped a few people. I have learnt plenty from other members who were kind enough to contact me; a lady from Bristol, having been ill with hypothyroidism for three years benefited more from taking T3 than the conventional Thyroxine, as her body simply does not tolerate it. I have also learnt that symptoms differ in people. Not all put on weight, but can remain tied and underweight when Hypothyroid. Some people suffered hair loss even though they only required a small amount of Thyroxine.

My G.P. has kindly agreed to accept my request to put an advertisement in the surgery for my website, so I am hoping for more response from sufferers.

Another blood test showed that the increase of mcg daily was too much, hence feeling so rough and feeling the floor coming up to meet me on many occasions and was told to lower the dosage to 75 mcg (which I felt was too low) and due for another blood test in March. I worry that too much Thyroxine can lead to brittle bones, to name one side affect. I also worry about the continual weight gain and weight loss and what affect it will eventually have on me.

My blood test in March 2004 was normal and due for another in June. However a few weeks before the blood test, I felt as if I were going completely nuts and once again not being able to concentrate, forgetting a two year by-pass existed and walking to and from a car park in a supermarket tying to work out the shortest and most practical way to put a shopping trolley back into the trolley bay! It would have been funny but it was frustrating because this feeling perisited for many days and did not trust myself to drive for a while because of the confusion and on some occasions, the ground would meet me as a result of too much Thyroxine. I was, however convinced that as I started going Underactive on 85 and half mcg was frightened of going too Underactive (and always will be) but understand now it takes many months or even years to become stable and balanced.

FSH and TSH.

Since the last blood test, I had another blood test for FSH (follicle Stimulating Hormone) and am now in the early stages of Menopause, which might have explained the hot flushes, night sweats, the down in the dumps feeling and tiredness but still coincide with symptoms of unbalanced Thyroxine. The Hypothyroidism might have helped cause early Menopause as the early menopause could have fluctuated my Thyroid! Either way, it explains how I have felt even though the tablets were balanced, at least for the time being.

I have made contact with a lady from Milton Keynes through the British Thyroid Foundation via my website from the Milton Keynes support group and hope that one day, I can get to one of their meetings as this seems to be the most local group to me. Her e-mails are entitled ‘hell of hypothyroidism’ and have much empathy with her.

Discovering Thyroid problems in my family tree

It had also been a very uplifting year having made contact with two cousins from my late fathers’ side of the family and have had a wonderful reunion with one cousin and now also in contact with her sister. During one conversation, my cousin informed me that her Mother, who was my fathers’ late sister, had suffered terribly with her Thyroid and was diagnosed by her family with a rare autoimmune disease in the early 1990’s before she sadly passed away. More than just a coincidence and once again, seems to be familiar in families; in my case, both sides.

I have also learnt that hot weather and stress can cause more problems with Thyroid. The summer of 2003 was the hottest that I can remember for many years.

A year had passed since I started to go Underactive on 87 and a half mcg of Thyroxine. As changes are made in medication, I hit highs and lows; some weeks I feel so well and ‘normal’ and then I start drifting back to Under or Overactive again. The symptoms that mimic Menopause had gone, so I can only assume that I had too much Thyroxine in my system again. Now I feel as if I am going Underactive again.

A friend once said to me, wouldn’t it be easier if the Thyroid were just removed and them take full replacement? I am beginning to think she is right.

September 2004. Although I was very pleased about my weight loss from May 2003, it started creeping up very slowly prior tour holiday in May 2004 and with our lunches of sandwiches, bread rolls and meals consisting of white pasta, finally crept up to 10 stone, so I have gained half a stone. My medication has also been stable over this period of time, so again, it is obvious, when my Thyroxine levels are abnormal it plays havoc with my weight, either to gain or lose. I have been using a low carbohydrate diet and made a few changes, but this made no difference, as my weight remained the same, although I felt very healthy.

I was also very happy that some poems I have written over the years are now to be published! However, when I feel well, I am unable to write anything of substance.